I have to remind myself not to forget to remind myself to take caution. To remember how I found myself here and why.
I will never let myself forget the way this felt. The uneasiness. The insecurity. The way the taste of your betrayal forever lingered on my lips and how bitter. How sour. The way I could never trust you.
And how i feel I’ve done enough damage for one night.
”..like a precious wound, a heartbreak you won’t let go of because it hurts too good. We all want things to stay the same. Settle for living in misery because we’re afraid of change, of things crumbling to ruins…..Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation.”—Liz Gilbert
Sometimes I’m afraid.
Fearing the loss of our secret moments.
Moments I know I’ll miss.
Moments that will always be out of grasp, now.
Moments lost. Another casualty of time.
He says, just leave me in your dust.
Fearing the day this reality sets in.
The day I start to miss you.
The first time I forget, and reach for you in bed, but even your imprint on my bed sheet will have gone.
But nothing will ever be enough.
So this is for the best.
Ruin is the road to transformation.
I’ll go along. Ride it out. See how far this goes. See what you’re truly capable of when you think no one can see.
It’s easier. A gifted advantage. To know what I know. When no one else knows.
Tonight, I’ll sleep. And for that, I’m forever thankful.
Pretend I don’t exist. Pretend that I’m nothing more than a temporary distraction. Pretend that I’m what’s stopping him from being with you. Pretend that I’m the reason he left you in the first place. I suppose that probably helps you fall asleep at night but we all know that’s not true, unless you truly are as diluted as you’ve made yourself out to be…(con’d http://www.thoughts.com/Crystalj0786/diluted-naivety)
You confuse the nice things he says out of guilt with love.
